The Wedding Syndrome
– Paying more attention to the wedding than to the marriage…
The hall is booked, the flowers chosen, the color scheme is just right; the bridesmaid’s outfits are finally settled.
The best man’s speech is suitably edited,
the seating has been minutely scrutinized and finally agreed and the ring is safely stowed.
The great day, the most perfect day is set – the envy of her peers,
the admiration of her friends.
How much attention I wonder has been paid to the longer lasting issues of children and the manner of their rearing;
how conflict will be handled;
how the aspirations of each will be nurtured and supported;
personal space and the place of mothers-in-law.
Sadly, many couples fall into the trap of being in love with the ‘idea of being married’.
Consequently the wedding becomes the goal and
the lifetime together that follows is relegated to fate.
The reason the wedding went off with very little hassle –
what wedding is worthy of note unless some ‘disaster’ crops up –
is the simple fact that almost every eventuality was planned in minute detail.
Foreseeable, the reason that divorce statistics are so high is that little or no planning went into the LIFE together afterwards.